On second thought, let's not. Idiotic idea, sorry. Chalk it up to temporary insanity brought on by the hype-fueled phenomenon known as "Arch Madness."
There is no bigger, better early-season college football game than No. 1 Texas (+2½) at No. 3 Ohio State (11 a.m., Fox 32), for a lot of reasons. The Buckeyes are the defending national champions. The Longhorns are the top team in the polls. It's a rematch of a January playoff semifinal, won 28-14 by the Buckeyes in Arlington, Texas. Also, ESPN's "GameDay" circus will be in town, with 90-year-old Lee Corso making one final pick before retiring.
But at the very top of the marquee is the name Arch Manning -- the Texas quarterback who faces expectations so high, he enters his first year as a college starter as the Heisman Trophy favorite.
Pick up that award, throw in a national title, get drafted No. 1 overall in 2026 and go on to win a couple of Super Bowls like uncles Peyton and Eli each did. Sounds easy, doesn't it?
"I'm definitely honored [by Heisman expectations]," Manning told reporters this week, "but I haven't done anything yet."
That's essentially true, though Manning has been at Texas awhile, having served as Quinn Ewers' understudy in 2023 and 2024 and starting twice when Ewers was hurt. It amounts to an edge in experience over Ohio State counterpart Julian Sayin, a fellow former five-star recruit and new QB1. Will Sayin hit the ground running as predecessors Justin Fields and C.J. Stroud did? Will he struggle in the role as Kyle McCord did? Perhaps Manning was born for this. He's certainly regarded as more of a sure thing than Sayin is.
In high school in New Orleans, Manning broke Peyton's school record for touchdown passes and Eli's record for passing yards. Now as then, America's leading quarterback family views his future in grand fashion. That's why, according to Manning -- a far better runner than his uncles -- grandpa Archie ends every phone call by cautioning him, "Get down or get out of bounds."
Each defense will attempt to terrorize a QB already under heavy external pressure. Sayin will be facing what might be the nation's best "D." Manning will have to deal with whatever new OSU coordinator Matt Patricia -- a name you should recognize from his many years in the NFL -- throws at him.
In last season's playoff matchup, Texas focused on taking away Buckeyes superstar wideout Jeremiah Smith. It worked, for the most part, though Smith hardly was a one-man band. Smith is back for more, but both these teams have had to replace more starters than they retained. There's a lot of "new."
I keep thinking about an older game, though. This one was in 2005, the year Texas won the championship led by unstoppable quarterback Vince Young. In the most famous game of that season -- one of the greatest college games of all time -- Young carried his team to a 41-38 upset of No. 1 USC at the Rose Bowl. But months before that, to set up the possibility of an unbeaten season, Texas had to go to Ohio Stadium and tangle with the Buckeyes. Young led a late touchdown drive for a 25-22 upset win. That's the night I'm reminded of now.
The Saturday before this opener, OSU coach Ryan Day put his team through a mock game day. The players ran out onto the field. They went back inside for "halftime." They sang "Carmen Ohio." If Manning had been there, they'd undoubtedly have tried to take his head off.
The entire preseason No. 1 team wears a target.
"The target's not on our back," Manning said about that. "We have a red dot on everyone else."
Western Illinois (+45½) at No. 12 Illinois (6:30 p.m. Friday, Peacock, 890-AM): Are the Illini deserving of their lofty ranking? This silly mismatch promises to offer utterly nothing in the way of an answer. Illini by merely 44.
Northwestern (+6) at Tulane (11 a.m., ESPNU, 720-AM): Who starts at QB for the Green Wave? They have enticing options -- most notably, BYU transfer Jake Retzlaff -- but a down-to-the-wire decision for coach Jon Sumrall and his staff indicates preseason reps have been chopped up far more than is ideal. Purple powers to a 23-21 upset.
No. 8 Alabama (-13½) at Florida State (2:30 p.m., ABC 7): It's as don't-know-what-we're-gonna-get a scenario as there is in Week 1. Is it crazy to think the Seminoles -- who were 2-10 last season -- won't be bad? Or that the Crimson Tide might not be customarily great? Tide win, 'Noles cover.
No. 9 LSU (+3½) at No. 4 Clemson (6:30 p.m., ABC 7): This is an absolutely stellar QB matchup, and LSU's Garrett Nussmeier and Clemson's Cade Klubnik should put on a show. The heat on LSU coach Brian Kelly will be intense if he falls to 0-4 in openers since leaving Notre Dame. Tigers -- of the Clemson variety, to be clear -- get it done in the end, 35-31.
My favorite favorite: No. 6 Notre Dame (-2½) at No. 10 Miami (6:30 p.m. Sunday, ABC 7, 780-AM): Until somebody gets the better of the Irish, the bet here is that the all-out toughness Marcus Freeman's program has come to embody will win out. Miami has lacked in that same department for years.
My favorite underdog: Baylor (+2½) vs. Auburn (7 p.m. Friday, Fox 32): I like the Bears as a sneaky contender in the Big 12. At home, they can grab this "W" and will.