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So, I'm at that age when, if I should die tomorrow, my obituary won't include the words "untimely death." I'm old.

I know I'm old because my son, Kurt, recently retired from the Champaign Police Department after serving more than 20 years as a police officer.

Other facts that lead me to believe that I'm old: At age 70, I am nine years older than my dad when he passed away at 61 and 20 years older than my mom when she died at age 50. As my older brother says, "Pete, we're playing with house money."

I have a lot less hair than I had in my 20s and 30s, and what little hair I have is gray and growing mostly out of my ears and on my back. I'm beginning to look like a hobbit.

My memory is lousy, and although I can recall words from an obscure song from the 1960s or the starting lineup of the 1969 Cubs, I have trouble remembering the name of someone I was introduced to only moments ago.

My ability to hear is horrendous ... especially when my high-pitched granddaughters speak to me. There are few conversations I have with these girls that don't end up with me saying, "What'd you say?" a dozen times before finally giving up and asking my wife to please explain what the girls said to me.

Other times, I completely misinterpret what someone is saying to me. I do have hearing aids that are supposed to be "state of the art," but they seem to make the words others say louder, not more distinct or understandable.

My current issue with these hearing aids is that I have them synced with my iPhone via Bluetooth, and sometimes my hearing aids will hear a third person speaking in my vicinity who uses the word "call" followed by someone's name. This overheard conversation will instantly result in my cellphone calling someone I had no intention of calling. I can't tell you how many times I have had to apologize to people who have inadvertently received calls from me.

I like to go running for exercise. However, as I grow older, my times have increased dramatically. I actually ran a 5:24 mile when I was 29, when attending the police academy. Forty-one years later, I have trouble jogging a 10-minute mile. My grandkids damage my pride when they challenge me to a race or play tag because I will inevitably lose the race and be the person who ends up being "it" during tag.

Both of my knees have recently begun to hurt for no particular reason. I even had meniscus surgery on one knee and the doctor used the term "age-related" as the primary cause for this problem.

I find that my right hip is painful whenever I roll over in bed, and I actually have to do physical-therapy exercises to help alleviate that pain. My lack of balance might be the worst attribute of old age I am experiencing, and if I ever get pulled over on a traffic stop by the police for a possible DUI, I am sure to fail any balancing test because I cannot stand upright on one foot for more than three seconds.

Glancing into my bathroom mirror while shaving is scary. I've noticed that there are laugh lines that are not funny and brown spots on both my cheeks and my hands that are often referred to as age spots. My 5-year-old granddaughter loves to play with the loose skin on my neck underneath my chin, which she calls

"Papa's turkey wattle."

However, I do love a lot about being older. I enjoy the "senior discounts" at restaurants and movie theaters. I like it when my children or grandchildren come to me for advice because they think I may have knowledge they don't have simply because I have been on this earth for seven decades.

I like that I seem to have much more patience with my seven grandchildren than I had with my own three kids when I was younger.

Since I'm mostly retired, I can concentrate now on doing what I want to do, not what I have to do. I am able to volunteer as a member of do-gooder organizations like Kiwanis and the Knights of Columbus. My retirement has allowed me to spend more time with the ones I love (my wife, my family and my friends if you're wondering) and watch my grandchildren as they too grow older and participate in sports, music, dance and every other activity under the sun.

In my old age, I have been fortunate to have accumulated enough money to travel to places I have always dreamed of. I still take pleasure in running (although slowly) and bike riding and hiking and kayaking and playing catch with my grandchildren. I especially enjoy holding hands with my wife as we take long walks around town ... this also helps with my balance.

I read somewhere that life is like a roll of toilet paper; it seems to go faster toward the end. So as the toilet paper of my life unwinds, I will continue to try to fight the good fight, exercise when I can, think good thoughts and thank God for allowing me to grow old.