DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law is her alcoholic husband's enabler. He has health conditions that make walking difficult. He falls down often and can't make it to the bathroom. Being drunk all the time (he consumes a fifth of vodka every two days) also prevents him from getting the surgery he needs.

My SIL buys his liquor for him. She says if she doesn't, he will drive himself, endangering others. She has tried talking with his doctors, friends, family, priest and rehab facilities. He won't go or listen. Taking care of him is wearing her down. He needs a medical facility that also treats addiction.

Desperate to help her, I took her to an Al-Anon meeting so she could get support, but she found it "boring." I realize this is out of my control, and I'm finding it hard to listen and sympathize when she complains. What now? -- ENABLER'S SISTER-IN-LAW

DEAR S.I.L.: Your sister-in-law definitely could use some help. While I have mentioned AA and Al-Anon often in my column, another support resource I have heard good things about is called SMART Recovery. It is a space where loved ones of those who are struggling with addiction can find understanding, support and a plan to regain control of their own lives. She can locate a Family and Friends meeting by visiting smartrecovery.org/family. If she gives it a try, she may feel more comfortable there.

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